Posted: July 19, 2016
In simple terms, temperament is a person’s manner of thinking, behaving, or reacting. Each person has patterns of behavior, or temperament, that are also part of his or her uniqueness. Parenting methods and techniques need to be compatible with a child’s individual temperament to be effective.
When parents understand their child's temperament as well as their own, it can help guide them toward effective parenting and discipline techniques for that child. Parents can use this knowledge to create a good parent-child relationship.
Both your temperament and your child's affect your view of your child and of yourself as a parent.
Researchers identify nine temperament traits
1. Activity level - How active the child is generally.
2. Distractibility - The degree of concentration and attention the child shows when the child is not particularly interested in an activity.
3. Intensity - The energy level of a response, whether positive or negative,
4. Regularity - The predictability of biological functions like appetite and sleep.
5. Sensory threshold - How sensitive a child is to physical stimuli.
6. Approach/Withdrawal - The child's characteristic response to a new situation or strangers.
7. Adaptability - How easily the child adapts to transitions and changes.
8. Persistence - The length of time a child continues in activities in the face of obstacles.
9. Mood - The tendency to react to the world primarily in a positive or negative way.
Is your temperament similar to or different from your child's temperament? You cannot change or predetermine your child's temperament style, but you can mold your parenting around your child's temperament. Trying to get your child to fit into your concept of the perfect child is usually frustrating! A better approach is to observe your child, learn about his or her behavioral style, and then change the way you react to the child in different situations.
A child's temperament characteristics can be very positive in some situations and challenging in others. Parents may need to go through a period of trial and error to figure out what works best for their child in each situation.
Some examples of dos and don'ts
- Do not punish the child for temperament style.
- Instead of reprimanding a shy child for being hesitant toward a stranger, encourage her when she looks at or speaks to the stranger.
- Instead of criticizing an intense child for being loud when she feels upset, quietly teach her about her volume control. After all, you wouldn't punish her for being loud when she is happy.
- An irregular child shouldn't be punished for lack of hunger at a mealtime, or for not being ready to sleep at every bed time. Be flexible. Instead of a hard and firm time to sleep, have a routine to follow such as quiet playing or looking at books in bed before going to sleep.
- Notice the times when things go well.
- Recognize and accept the way the child really is.
- Recognize your feelings toward the child's specific temperament traits, and adjust what you do, to create less stress and conflict.
Everyone is unique. Understanding yourself and your children makes parenting much easier. If you adjust to and support your child's temperament, life in the family will be much more enjoyable. Children will also be more socially ready for school and their future.
References
Carey, William B. 1997. Understanding Your Child's Temperament. New York: Macmillan.
Chess, Stella, and Alexander Thomas.1996. Know Your Child: An Authoritative Guide for Today's Parents. NorthVale, NJ: Jason Aronson.
Kurcinka, Mary Sheedy. 1991. Raising Your Spirited Child. New York: Harper-Collins,
Turecki, Stanley, and L. Tonner. 1989. The Difficult Child. Revised Edition. New York: Bantam Books.
