Talking with families about sensitive topics

Addressing sensitive topics with families will take planning and preparation.

Addressing sensitive topics with families will take planning and preparation. The key step for preparing to talk with families about sensitive topics happens when children and families first enter your program. Developing a partnership with families will open the door for conversation and make it easier to approach sensitive topics. Establish a positive rapport with families, get to know all children and families, and have consistent communication with families and other staff.

Next, identify what sensitive topics you will likely face in working with the children and families in your program. Some common sensitive topics include: developmental delays, behavior, family changes, sexuality, cultural customs, and social practices. There will be other sensitive topics that arise based on the needs and expectations of individual children, families, and your community. You will encounter topics that you did not predict. When you do, assume that you will have to address it again in the future and add it to your list.

Preparing for sensitive topics

Determine what your program philosophy is about each topic. Design policies and procedures to support your philosophy. If you believe that it is important for children to know and use correct names for body parts and bodily functions, decide what names and terms to use and how to respond to children when they use other terms, such as "wee wee" instead of "penis."

Put policies and procedures in writing. Include the child development information that influences your philosophy and supports your approach. Outline steps for referrals of issues that require outside resources and intervention. Share your policies with families at orientation and/or at transition times (i.e. moving to a new room, age group changes, or at progress conferences). Review and revise policies and procedures as you learn more about topics, gain experience in addressing topics with families, and as standards or regulations change.

Build resources for providing information and resources to families. Make a list of human service and support agencies in your community and region. Collect brochures and application forms from resource agencies and keep them on file. Put information in an area where parents can read them.

Become familiar with referral processes for child and family services. Find a contact person for other agencies that you can directly refer a family to or who can assist with the application process. Increase your knowledge and awareness of issues, conditions, and services by attending professional development workshops, researching topics with journal articles, websites, and materials from resource agencies, and attending community-networking meetings.

Setting up a meeting with the family to discuss sensitive topics

Because sensitive topics are emotional topics, even the best-prepared conversation may not go well. However, taking steps to approach conversations in a purposeful way will help you present questions and concerns in a proactive, objective manner. The more you can keep the conversation focused, recognize the family's role and position, and involve the family in the resolution, the more likely you will be able to fully engage the family in conversation.

Before meeting

  • Make notes of what you want to share.
  • Collect examples of children's work and or observation reports.
  • Outline ideas for addressing the concerns to use for brainstorming.
  • Compile resource information.

When meeting with families

  • Choose a convenient time and a comfortable, private area to meet.
  • Use adult-size furniture and arrange chairs in a circle or at right angles from each other.
  • Allow for extra time and provide child care for children, if you are meeting after program hours.
  • If appropriate, serve refreshments to create a less formal "meeting" atmosphere and encourage conversation.

When talking with families

  • Emphasize that you want to partner with the family to address questions and concerns.
  • Be respectful and sensitive in phrasing responses and statements.
  • Think before you respond.
  • Ask open-ended questions.
  • Listen and reflect.
  • Answer questions but do not feel that you have to have an answer for everything.
  • Be direct and factual. Acknowledge feelings, but avoid debating a point or perspective.
  • Be realistic in planning and choosing a resolution.
  • Focus on doing the best for the child, family, and your program.

After the conversation

  • Summarize the action steps and goals you've set with the family.
  • Give a copy of the meeting notes to the family along with additional resource information.
  • Keep the family informed of your work, as you work through action steps.
  • Touch base regularly with the family to let them know how things are going.
  • If the family pursues outside resources or services, offer to assist and check on their progress.
  • Schedule a follow-up meeting as needed or requested.

More Caring Ideas Resource Pages from Better Kid Care to help you develop partnerships with families:

References:
Baker, Amy C. and Lynn A. Manfredi/Petitt. 2004. Relationships, the Heart of Quality Care - Creating Community Among Adults in Early Care Settings. Washington, D.C.: NAEYC.

Cheatham, Gregory A. and Rosa Milagros Santos. September 2011. "Collaborating with Families from Diverse Cultural and Linguistic Backgrounds." Young Children 66(5): 76-82.

Christian, Linda Garris. January 2006. "Understanding Families - Applying Family Systems Theory to Early Childhood Practice." Young Children 61(1): 12 -20.

Early Childhood Learning & Knowledge Center (ECLKC). "Tip Card to Help Staff Talk About Sensitive Issues." The Office of Head Start. Accessed January 26, 2012. http://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/hslc/tta-system/family/Family%20and%20Community%20Partnerships/Crisis%20Support/Community%20Support/TipCardstoHelp.htm

Gonzalez-Mena, Janet. 2008. Diversity in Early Care and Education, 5th edition. Washington, D.C.:NAEYC.

Ramamoorthy, Saraswathy and Judith A. Myers-Wells. "Communicating Sensitively with Parents." Purdue University. Accessed January 26, 2012. http://www.ces.purdue.edu/providerparent/parent-provider%20relationships/communicatingsensitively.htm

Rockwell, Robert E., Lynda C. Andre, and Mary K. Hawley. 2010. Families and Educators as Partners, 2nd edition. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Cengage Learning.

TIPS 15-3

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